(Some years ago)…
It had been more than twenty minutes since I placed the order. The Pizza Delivery Girl should be here any time now. It’s a little cold this winter evening, but winter is the off-season and the only time I know of where I can sit on the front porch of this unoccupied beach home unnoticed. Pizza isn’t even one of my favorite foods, but the Pizza Delivery Girl doesn’t deliver anything else. The Pizza Delivery Girl only delivers pizzas. It’s not the pizza I want.
She is so captivating. A beautiful slender figure for a young mother of two, the Pizza Delivery Girl has all the chicks in this podunk-town beat hands down. Her soft long brown hair wisps as she strolls. Her face is that of a cherub. That horrible excuse of a drunkard she calls a husband doesn’t deserve her. I can treat her like the gorgeous vision she is. If she will give me but just the chance to tell her how I feel.
That’s why I am here. This unoccupied summer home is secluded enough so there should be no disturbances. No interruptions. Even if she is taken aback by my measures, she is such a kind person, so sweet; she will compassionately and patiently hear me out. I am certain. Once I have spilled out my heart to her, once I have told her how I hold her in such pristine regard for the elegant creature she is, she will undoubtedly find her heart breaking at the poetry she ignites in me. I wonder she will want me right here?
Another great move in deciding to profess my love for this magnificent yet meek woman, should she become overwhelmed with passion we can consummate our affections here on this vacant summer home’s front porch. I will take her in my arms and kiss her full and strong. I will embrace her with such tender authority she will succumb to my will. As I breathe love into her delicate spirit, she will know what it is like to be adored, as a treasure of her caliber should. I will have the Pizza Delivery Girl. She will love me tonight.
Headlights approaching from down the secluded drive break me from the daydream. I was lost for a minute in the visualization of my body intertwined with the Pizza Delivery Girl’s lithe frame. It occurs to me how dark the house is all of a sudden. Nerves start to well up and I decide to step off the steps to the side of the house. This has to go well. It has to go as planned. My nerves are in such a state I notice my fingertips and toes have gone numb. My pulse is racing. My body thinks it’s under attack and is trying to push blood to the vital organs, hence my sudden freezing hands and feet. My face is flushed.
The Pizza Delivery Girl leaves the car running as she gets out. I notice she checked the ticket-order before exiting the car, looking up at the dark house; still she gets out. She starts up the walk to the front porch. She has a large heavy hoodie on but the hood is down and Pizza Delivery Girl’s soft hair blows in the winter breeze. Her heeled black boots click against the walk in time with her rhythmic steps. As she ascends the first two steps to the front porch I come from around the side of the house and approach her from behind; her ass tight in the skinny jeans.
“Excuse me,” I cough.
Startled, at the top of the porch Pizza Delivery Girl turns around to face me at the bottom of the steps, “Oh, my God! You scared the crap out of me.” She giggled at the realization it was just I. She inquired, “What are you doing here?”
She looks back up at the house and continues, “I am suppose to deliver this pizza but I don’t think any body…”
“Two large pizzas. One pepperoni and one half extra cheese/half sausage and onion.” It’s the order I placed nearly thirty minutes ago.
Pizza Delivery Girl stares at me. Her face aglow in the single street light’s dim illumination. Her hair sweeping in the breeze, she is more beautiful than ever. She’s puzzled and I see it in her eyes, “That’s” she hasn’t broken my gaze yet; here we go, my nerves are jumping, “that’s the order I have here.”
“I know,” I smile, “I ordered it.”
“But,” she looks back to the house with no lights on then back to me, “why?”
It feels as though my face is going to explode, “I love you.” There it’s out.She blinks twice and shakes her head, “What?”
I start to ascend the steps towards her, “I love you. I have loved you since I first saw you. I love your hair, your voice, your face…”
“Are you fucking crazy?” she asks and begins to take steps backwards towards the front door.
I continue up the steps, “I’m crazy for you. You deserve someone like me who can treat you the way you need to be treated. I love you. You are so beautiful.” My hands are out as I reach the top of the porch.
Pizza Delivery Girl’s back now is against the vacant summer home’s front door, “Get away from me you crazy fucker.” She whispered as her voice cracked with fright.
As I step closer, Pizza Delivery Girl launches the two large pizzas at my face and attempts to take off past me down the porch steps. I’m much quicker than her and stronger; I’m a man. She pulls hard to try and break from my grip. I have her by the upper portion of her right arm clutched in my right fist. This isn’t going as planned. My nerves sky rocket through entire my body and brain. I hear something scream inside my head, “What are you doing!?!” as I sling Pizza Delivery Girl with all my force back against the wall of the house. The thud of her body slamming against the hard structure is in concert with her gasp as the air is knocked out of Pizza Delivery Girl.
I don’t even realize I have pulled the gun out from the back of my pants.
(Not quite so long ago)…
I heard some young turd was put to death last night for the killing of a pizza delivery girl. I heard he had turned his self into the local police a few years past. He was a local boy like me. His mom was a meth addict and his father had died a raging alcoholic many years ago. The turd dropped out of school in something like the eighth grade. He was a complete idiot with nothing to look forward to in life but trying to scrounge an existence off the town’s fish docks. Someone said they heard him say the three square meals in the state penitentiary were not bad at all. Supposedly he had never slept in a bed so clean. All those accommodations and his name got in the newspapers too.
I heard the first town police officer closest to him when he walked up into the Town Police Station and commenced to blabbing about how he had raped and shot the pizza delivery girl on the front porch of that unoccupied summer home, that first officer closest to the turd knocked out two of his teeth. What kills me is his facts were all messed up. I only bashed her face in on the front porch. I shot her in the car. The rape was multiple times over nearly an hour and a half. Front porch, back of the car, hood of the car, and finally the back seat. When she bit me on the porch is when I lost it and pistol-whipped her unconscious and then some. After that we had intercourse as quickly as the urge could return to me. Looking at her lying in a bloody heap curled up on the back seat of the car, I knew I had to ensure this never got out; one to the forehead.
I stay away from pizza delivery girls.